解説　場面 46「祭壇の前で」

"Still, if I had married Lord St. Simon, of course I'd have done my duty by him. We can't command our love, but we can our actions. I went to the altar with him with the intention to make him just as good a wife as it was in me to be. But you may imagine what I felt when, just as I came to the altar rails, I glanced back and saw Frank standing and looking at me out of the first pew. I thought it was his ghost at first; but when I looked again there he was still, with a kind of question in his eyes, as if to ask me whether I were glad or sorry to see him. I wonder I didn't drop. I know that everything was turning round, and the words of the clergyman were just like the buzz of a bee in my ear. I didn't know what to do. Should I stop the service and make a scene in the church? I glanced at him again, and he seemed to know what I was thinking, for he raised his finger to his lips to tell me to be still. Then I saw him scribble on a piece of paper, and I knew that he was writing me a note. As I passed his pew on the way out I dropped my bouquet over to him, and he slipped the note into my hand when he returned me the flowers. It was only a line asking me to join him when he made the sign to me to do so. Of course I never doubted for a moment that my first duty was now to him, and I determined to do just whatever he might direct.

「それでも、もしセント・サイモン卿と結婚したなら、もちろん妻としての務めは果たしたはずよ。私たちは愛する気持ちを意のままにはできないけれど、行動なら自分で決められるもの。私は、自分にできる限り彼のよい妻になるつもりで、彼と祭壇へ向かったわ。でも想像してみて。祭壇の手すりのところへ来たちょうどそのとき、後ろを振り返ると、最前列の席からフランクが私を見つめていたの。初めは彼の幽霊だと思った。でももう一度見ると、彼はやはりそこにいて、私と会えてうれしいのか、悲しいのかと問うような眼差しを向けていた。よく倒れなかったものだと自分でも思うわ。あらゆるものがぐるぐる回っていたし、牧師の言葉は耳元で蜂がうなるようにしか聞こえなかった。どうすればいいのか、分からなかった。式を止めて、教会で騒ぎを起こすべきなのか。もう一度彼を見ると、彼は私が考えていることを分かったようだった。黙っているよう伝えるため、指を唇へ当てたの。それから彼が紙切れに急いで何かを書くのが見え、私へ手紙を書いているのだと分かった。式が終わって彼の席の横を通るとき、私は彼のほうへ花束を落とした。彼は花を返すとき、私の手へその手紙を滑り込ませた。そこには、合図をしたら自分のところへ来てほしいと、一行だけ書かれていたわ。もちろん、これからの私が第一に務めを果たすべき相手は彼だと、私は一瞬たりとも疑わなかった。彼が指示するとおりにすると決めたの」